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Friday, March 1, 2013

Does Prom Date Equal Kissing?

Dear Bro Jo,

Alrighty. I'm in a little bit of a situation. You see, I am going to prom soon.

Me and the boy I am going with have liked each other a little bit over the past month or so. We've gone on Casual Group Dates and hung out with the same friends and all. I am super excited!

The only thing is that everyone has told me, and he has even hinted, that he is going to try and kiss me.

Okay, so I guess it's not that big of a deal, but it is to me!

I don't mean to sound lame, but I don't think I really want to kiss him!

And there are a few reasons why.

First, I've always told myself, for one reason or another, that I don't want to get serious with anyone or kiss anyone before I graduate high school.

Also, I feel like it wouldn't be just a one-time thing. We hang out a lot and if I gave in once, he'd probably think it'd be okay to kiss whenever. You know?

It's just hard because I do like him, and I don't want him to think I'm weird or whatever.

How do I be a REALLY great date, end the night on a good note and keep him liking me if I reject him when he tries to kiss me?

Is there a nice way to do that?

Or am I just over thinking this whole thing?

Thank you soooooooo much!!

- Prom Date Afraid

Dear PDA,

You should never kiss anyone when you don' want to.

And great dates do not have to include kissing.

If he tries to kiss you and you're not ready, quickly hold your hand between his lips and yours and say "please don't take this wrong, you're a great guy and all, but I'm just not ready".

If he has a problem with that (and he may), then that's not really your concern.

In fact, I'd say the bigger of a problem it is for him, the wiser you'll have been to not have kissed him.

But . . . should you change your mind in the moment . . . should you decide that you do want to kiss him goodnight . . . if you decide that there's no reason to wait until after graduation . . .well, I don’t see a problem with that either.  

 - Bro Jo


Amberlie said...

You can also tell him how you're feeling before the date. You don't have to wait until THE MOMENT to tell him.

Pull him aside before the day of prom and say, "Hey! Listen, I really like you, but I have a standard about kissing. I don't want to kiss anyone until I'm in a serious relationship--which means after high school. I just respect you and wanted to let you know."
It might be a little awkward, but it'll be a lot less awkward than if you tell him when he's leaning in for the smooch. If you do that, a part of his pride might be wounded (it takes guts to make a move, we all know that).

There's nothing wrong with not kissing him. I went on 3 prom dates and never kissed my date. And you know what, I think the mutual understanding we had that no kissing would take place really took the pressure off.

Dave Johnston said...

Great points, Amberlie!

- Bro Jo