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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Was She Unfairly Labeled at Church?

Bro Jo,

I was mean to a new guy in my ward on Facebook because he was old and has a kid and didn’t tell me up front!

But now he is very popular and everyone hates me.

He’s way nice to everyone sooooo they all LOVE him and all the guys in the ward look up to him like a superhero because he is old, rich, works out, and shoots guns they all worship him.

My own roomy said I acted like a Freshman and now everyone thinks me and my best friend are immature and (edited).

I know I was mean and wrong to say that stuff, well I can't fix it now. I tried to talk to him tonight but his roomies won’t let me. They told me I did enough damage already!!!

I told them I was wrong but what can I do and they told me to ask you for advice and sent me a link to your blog.

I don't know why they made me ask you but I like your blog so please help me!!!!

No guys will ask me out anymore!!!!!

No guys want to hang out with me!!!!!!

Worst of all I like him again so what do I do now?


Name Withheld

Dear NW -

Just because a guy and his friends are old, that doesn't mean that they're mature.

If he won't let you apologize for whatever it is you did wrong, then there's nothing you can do. 

One option is to let it go.   Don't get caught in the drama.  Take the high road.

You'll get other dates.

Trust me.

As for the guy and his childish friends, well . . . if they don't start acting their age they may find themselves alone for a very long time.

And until this guy grows up, I'd take him off the dating radar.

If he apologizes to you and you sense that he's sincere in his desire to treat you better, and if you're truly ready to give him another shot . . . well, that's up to you.

But there are a lot of guys out there to consider before you capitulate to spending more time with one who hasn't treated you well.

Thanks for reading!

Feel free to write in anytime.

And consider getting a different email address.

This one makes it seem like this email isn't from you, but from the guy or one of his friends pretending to be you.

Not that that ever happens.

This too shall pass.

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

I guess you are right.

I’m going to just ignore them all and wait.

My dad works with computers and told me to use one on Hotmail for people I don’t know and companies and my real email for only friends so yeah that’s why I use this one.


- NW

Dear NW,

Good advice from your dad, but the email name you've chosen for yourself is . . . unprofessional at best, so I wouldn't use it for anything, let alone companies you email.

And, you know, there's one other thing you need to consider:  just going off the initial email you sent me, it seems as though you have a little maturing to do yourself.

Being mean to people on Facebook, fueling drama at Church, among roommates, and in your social groups, dismissing bad behavior with "nothing I can do about it now" instead of owning up and making a sincere apology . . .

The whiny-ness . . . the poor language . . .

Sorry, but some of those folks in your ward may be right about you.

Remember, we're judged by the things we do, and the words we use.

- Bro Jo

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