Dear Bro Jo . . . : She and Her Boyfriend Are Getting Too Physical

Things to know

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Monday, March 4, 2013

She and Her Boyfriend Are Getting Too Physical - Part 1

Dear Bro Jo,

I visit your blog when I need advice but was always scared to email. Scared that I might hear something that doesn't apply to me because it is much easier to ignore, advice if it wasn't given specifically to you.

I am 20 and have a boyfriend.

I had a moment where I thought I had lost myself.

I have always been a good girl, obedient and faithful. I have a testimony of obedience and know that even if I don't understand, I will always be blessed. It is because I have faith in the Savior and his love for me.

I like to simplify things and see things as black and white, right and wrong.

I want this relationship to work.

We match on every front.

He was once spiritually strong but something happened and now he is struggling.

I want to help him but don't know how to do it.

Sometimes I have to compensate for him and regrettably I must say, compromise myself. I know that he wants to be better and that by drawing near to God we will draw nearer to each other.

I know this but don't exactly understand how, I feel that if I did know how then I could better communicate it to him.

He says that we wants all the best for this relationship one that is centered around God and that he wants to choose the right and just simply be obedient and I genuinely believe he is being completely honest with me.

When it comes down to it, he falters and does things contrary to what we want. I wanted to know what young couples starting a new relationship could do to draw closer together and feel our Savior's love?

I want a wholesome relationship.

Thank you and I hope you understand.

From,

- The Girl Who Wants to Feel Loved and on the Path Again

Dear Wants,

Can you help an old guy out a little?

Your email is pretty vague.

How long have you two been dating? How old is your boyfriend? Is he a pre-missionary, post missionary, or not gonna go?

What happened that he's now struggling?

What is he struggling with?

What is it that he's doing?

And what do you mean when you say that you need to "compensate" for him?

- Bro Jo

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Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Monday, March 4, 2013

She and Her Boyfriend Are Getting Too Physical - Part 1

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