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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Cheesy Wednesdays: Bad Dating Etiquette

Dear Bro Jo,

I have a question. Why else would I be writing you? :)

So last night was homecoming for a High School near me, and even though I do not attend school there I was asked. :)

I hardly knew my date; I only met him at a mutual friend's birthday party a few weeks ago, but everyone told me he was a nice guy (and he seemed like a super sweetie) so I was happy to say yes.

The day date went great!

Our group played water balloon volleyball, took pictures in a park, went out to a nice diner. Pretty much the standard.

The dance was super fun also.

We had a great time and he was a perfect gentleman up until about the last hour, when things got weird.

For about 15 minutes he would just walk away and talk with other girls and then come back, walk away, come back, walk away, come back, and then, finally he just disappeared altogether for 20 minutes straight.

It was really awkward for me because I didn't know anyone in the group (who, to their credit, stuck with me except when it was slow songs and they were dancing with their dates) so I wasn't sure what to do so I finally just went and Sat on a bench on the side of the floor all alone.

Some guy (I don't know who) took pity on me all by myself and came and asked me to dance so I said yes.

I PROMISE I would never ditch (or even flirt with) another guy besides my date, but I was all alone and had been ditched myself.

Then my date came back while I was dancing with the other guy.

He was furious.

He basically chewed me out for dancing with another guy and then wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.

The last slow song finally came on, he asked me to dance so we did, but while on the floor he continued to give me the silent treatment.

As the dance came to a close he leaned in for a kiss, which I skillfully dodged by ducking my head under his shoulder.

What the weird!?!

He goes from "I can't stand to talk to you!" to "Hey baby, how 'bout some sugar?" in like 20 seconds flat!

I'm so confused.

Did I do something horribly wrong?

Should I have not danced with Other Guy?

Should I have just called my parents to take me home when my date disappeared?

How is a girl supposed to handle this kind of strange behavior?

Or is this totally normal?

Was I just lucky when it didn't happen last year?

What's the etiquette for coping with a date who is etiquette-impaired?


- Cheese




Dear Cheese,

You didn't do anything wrong.

A guy (or girl for that matter) should never leave the side of his date without an explanation, and never to hit on other girls.

Once that happens, in my mind anyway, the date is over.

It would have been better to go up to him while he was talking to the other girls, join them all in conversation, and see if he had the class to introduce you as his date.

After a while though, especially if you wanted to be of service to the next girl (and if he failed to apologize or clue in) then you could have pulled him aside and taught him a little Dating Etiquette. In a nice way, of course.

If he just flat out abandoned you, and couldn't be found, a call to the family for a ride home would have been in order.

I don't blame you for dancing with the other guy, but I think the above actions might have been better. 

Likewise, while it was absolutely appropriate for you not to kiss this jerk, a lesson could have been taught there as well.

"What are you doing??? You can't just abandon your date to go talk to other girls, chew her out because she danced with a guy who chose to treat her better than you did, and then expect her to kiss you. Come on, buddy! Get a clue!"

Okay.

Maybe not that harsh.

But you know what I mean.

Learning a lot out there in Happy Valley, aren't you!

- Bro Jo

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