Dear Bro Jo . . . : Attraction at First Sight

Things to know

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Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Attraction at First Sight

Dear Bro Jo:

So a couple months ago I met this girl at a theory exam for piano and, well it was "attraction at first sight" as I believe you called it.

We didn't really say anything to each other since it was an exam but recently I saw her at a stake dance and she recognized me!

This was three months later!

So we talked for a bit there and when I got home I added her on Facebook.

When I was online a couple days after she messaged me and we chatted for a bit (which I know you probably don't like).

So what I was wondering is if you think the fact that she actually recognized me and initiated (Facebook) conversation with me is at least worth something?

We're both turning 16 in a few months and I'd like to take her on a date then but I'm afraid that we will lose contact and she'll forget me by then.

I know I could probably find some way to keep in contact, but I'm a really self-conscious person and I'm afraid that if I am constantly trying to contact her she will find me "creepy".

So what should I do?

Oh and you should probably know that she lives 45 minutes away in a different stake.

Thanks,

- Self-conscious

Dear Conscious,

1. Freak out less about her "forgetting you". I don't think it's going to happen. R-E-L-A-X. Simply initiate contact once a week or so. I prefer that you CALL or write an actual letter BY HAND; but if you must, a Facebook post or message is okay.

2. When you're both 16 take her on a Casual Group Date. If you don't know what that is, read the book or at least the rules. You can work around the "45 minutes away" by planning a date for a Saturday afternoon or getting a good dating buddy who will travel with you and perhaps take out one of her friends.

3. Don't just date her, date LOTS of GIRLS. Casual Group Dates only, though.

Have fun!

- Bro Jo

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Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Attraction at First Sight

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