Breast Augmentation Surgery . . . for Young Women?

Dear Bro Jo,

Do you agree with me that breast enhancement surgery is completely ridiculous and insane?

For women who have no medical reason to?

I have a good friend who wants to have her breasts enlarged when she turns 18.

Which is soon.

I'm fighting a losing battle trying desperately trying to talk her out of it... But she is dead set on it and has the full support and encouragement of both parents.

I just don't see how she can view it as a rational decision.

A full blown invasive medical procedure that will be permanent, purely for cosmetic reasons and because her self-esteem is based on how others perceive her and not on how Heavenly Father does...

As if the divinely beautiful body Heavenly Father intended her to have is not enough.

Sorry, you get the full benefit of my emphatic argument, as it falls on deaf ears whenever I try to talk to her about it. I did persuade her to agree to pray about it, fortunately, which I regard as a success because I really don't think she'll feel any divine confirmation of her plan for as soon as she's 18.

I can’t believe how tragically common “breast enhancement” surgery is in Utah.

In a society dominated by a Church with such a central focus on inner beauty, the-Lord-looketh-not-on-the-outward-appearance, women-are-inherently-divine gospel, it frustrates me that such an attitude of superficiality permeates the atmosphere, and Church is suddenly a fashion show and cosmetic surgery is suddenly commonplace.

Because she knows so many people who have had it done, she has a completely skewed perspective on how acceptable it is.

She doesn't believe me that no normal rational woman or girl I have ever heard of or talked to has ever considered breast enhancement surgery or had it performed.

I tell her it's ridiculous and silly, she responds that she's sure there are plenty of women where I', from who have had it done, but I just don't know it.

There most certainly aren't!

Anyway... I'm at my wit's end and frustrated and upset because I'm fighting a battle I don't think I can win.

She is absolutely determined.

And I don't understand!

She's a very beautiful girl, in very good shape, friendly, outgoing, and certainly has no trouble getting dates and attention.

Can you think of any other argument I could possibly use to persuade her?

To me, getting this permanent surgery is equivalent to permanently altering one's body with disfiguring tattoos, but she won't make that connection either.

Is the issue relevant enough to the blog to run a survey on it asking people's opinions in the subject?

Surely there are some other rational people out there who can help me know what to say to her?

- Worried Friend




Dear Friend,

Yes, I agree with you.  And so does Sister Jo.

And it saddens us how common elective plastic surgery is in Utah.

Especially Utah County.

At least it sure seems to be.

The Jo Kids (girls and boys both) comment on the abundance of billboards that start cropping up in Ogden and dominate the landscape all the way to Provo every time we drive down.

What is it with the people there???

Is there a law that says that after her morning run in a sports bra and spanks that 30-something moms need to mow the lawn so their teen sons can stay inside and get more video game time? I mean, I'm all for staying in shape - I could certainly stand to be in better shape - but it's like some kind of a . . . show . . . 

"Since I'm working out I can take off my garments and run through the neighborhood with my lipo-stomach showing and fake boobs poking out to prove that after 14 kids I'm still thin and sexy!" 

As if that matters to any decent guy - which I know darn well is not who they're showing off for - I know you women do that stuff as part of your competition with each other.
Seriously . . . It's like "The Stepford Wives" down there! 

Very sad. 

While I strongly hope that none of my children ever marry anyone with tattoos (tons of reasons, not the least of which is that it's like broadcasting that you're remarkably shortsighted), I don't feel quite as strong about cosmetic surgery.


My own sister has not had anything done, but I would support her getting a reduction.

She's large enough that it hurts her and is messing up her spine and posture.

But she's 40, not in her 20’s . . . or teens!

And, sadly, babies are not on the horizon for her . . .


I may feel different about breast enlargement surgery for someone much older . . . (Although, have you noticed what women in their 60's look like when everything is sagging but the implants?  Ridiculous!)  but it still saddens me that we live in a world where a woman feels that plastic surgery is required for her to been seen as beautiful, or that she thinks she needs to compete with the artificial-ness of Hollywood.  She most certainly does not!

No woman does.

And, as you alluded to, if there are medical reasons (i.e. post-mastectomy) I can understand that.


But that's not what we're talking about here.


The thing is, there are lots of reasons NOT to have the enlargement surgery . . . like potential cancer issues, that it messes with breast feeding, and the big one for lots of guys . . . seriously . . . they'll look fake.

I think it's the female equivalent of getting hair plugs.  Dude.  You're bald.  I get that you're unhappy about it, but it's who you are so you're better off accepting it.  The comb-over and toupee look bad and always will, and the plugs will always be fake.  Even the best looking ones are still obvious as to what they are.

Immature guys don't care if girls have artificially inflated boobs, but mature guys are unimpressed. It's like when women are obviously airbrushed and on magazine covers proclaiming how "in shape" they are . . . especially the “hot and over 40” ones . . . I just think that's ridiculous.

And . . . well, dishonest.


I doubt your friend will ever ask my opinion on this issue.  Many people who will read this may think that my opinion is invalid because I'm old and a guy . . . whatever.  (It's not a logical response, but that's what some will say.)

But, heck, it's not like she's asking yours, either . . . 


But if she did ask me, what I'd tell her is:

1. I don't see the point. It's not like she's having trouble getting dates now, so she has no excuse like she will feel more attractive. She's not yet had children and she's still very young, so it's not like they're falling or sagging or there's a problem.

2. Surgery or not, her breasts are going to change. When a woman is pregnant her chest size changes . . . a lot. To be candid, Sister Jo was an A+ to B- when we got married. (Didn't bother me, by the way!) Throughout 7 pregnancies she's been everything between that and well over a D. Now she's, I don't know, somewhere closer to when we got married . . . and not likely to change . . . but lots of women start out one size and end up a much larger size when they're older. At the very least your friend should wait until she's 30 and her body has matured . . . wait to see what her body is going to do. Take it from my Sister, no woman wants to be a DDD . . . and surgery now and babies later could have her looking ridiculously out of proportion . . . and in pain.

3. Breastfeeding. If she can, she should. Better bond between mom and children, that's what they're for anyway, and now stats are out saying that breast feed children are smarter.

4. Believe it or not, lots of guys don’t like it. They look fake, feel fake (so I’ve been told), and as I said, it’s dishonest. Many Good Guys are more turned on by “real” women, regardless their breast size . . . even those of us that are . . . very turned on by that part of a woman’s anatomy. Even guys who may admire fake boobs on someone else may not want the girl they’ve married to look that way.

5. There’s the psychological issue, in that it seems that women who get it done are, well . . . frankly, less modest. They want to show off what they’ve bought. In our culture, that’s lack of modesty isn’t exactly what many guys want to see in their spouse. (I think guys who “get off” on other guys being sexually attracted to their wives are . . . twisted.)

6. Future problems. You may want to share this article with her from Dr. Nalini Chilkov:  25 Reasons Not to Get Breast Implants 

or the link to this book:  Naked:  The Truth About Breast Implants.

I've also posted a like to a very informative site on the Dear Bro Jo Facebook Page that you may want to share with your friend.  It's for a media page called "Teen Breast Implant Awareness".

I don't mean to be alarmist here, and I don't think you want to come across that way to your friend, either.

But I believe information is powerful stuff.

No one should ever do anything that drastic simply because it's popular.

There is no acceptable reason for a perfectly healthy young woman to get a boob job.  It's shortsighted, and introduces a long list of potential health and lifestyle risks.  When all "reasons" are boiled down to the truth, the only things that remain are Immodesty and Vanity.  Shame on our society and culture for making a woman, a Young Woman, feel as though her value, her worth, her attractiveness, require elective surgery.  

I heard someone argue once that it's no different than getting braces.  For me that argument is washed away unless the girl intends to show off her chest as much as she should her smile.  

Consider:  when someone gets their braces off we all checkout, admire and compliment their smile; so what is breast augmentation hoping that we'll check out, admire and compliment?

And when the braces are removed we're left with our Real, Healthy Teeth . . . and I think that's an important difference.

I want young people to attract others because of their wit, charm, kindness, intelligence, attitude and testimony . . . not their shape.  It's one thing to take good care of the body which we've been given; it's another to artificially enhance it.

And my last two cents:  any Good Man who loves a woman, regardless of her age, will do so regardless of her shape.  I do not want any woman to be in a relationship where her physical attractiveness comes first in importance to the man she's with; our priorities say a lot about who we are.

Now . . . medical reasons?  Fine.  I think cancer survivors are in a whole different situation.

An older woman who has passed child bearing years?  I'd rather she didn't, but I leave that to her choice (again, so long as the new boobs don't become objects of immodesty and vanity . . . and, let's face it . . . that's often exactly what they become . . . seems like every time someone I know gets it done her wardrobe changes so she can "show them off".  Heck, I've heard tons of stories about women who use the enlargement as justification for flashing people.  Siblings . . . friends . . . all kinds of guys . . . seems like a "lack of modesty" issue to me.)

See . . . I believe that once all medical arguments are removed (let's agree to disagree if we need to for those that what to downplay the risks), then what we're left with is the Bottom Line Truth:  the only reason left to get Augmentation Mamoplasty is . . . Vanity.

And Vanity is never a good reason to do anything.

That's my take.

And , as I said, I don't expect many people to give validity to the opinion of an old married guy when it comes to this topic.

Like many things, our friends aren't typically very warm to unsolicited advice.

Pray that she'll ask or that the opportunity will come up.

Hopefully, at the very least, she'll wait. Preferably until after she's been married and had all of her children.

So many decisions we make . . . especially those that we'll have to live with for a very long time . . . could benefit from waiting just a little longer . . .



If she does get it done, she still deserves love and support and acceptance, of course.


I know you know that.



Beyond that, the best thing you can do is help your children to make better decisions than your friend.  Teach them that they're beautiful whatever their body is shaped like.

That's God's Honest Truth.

- Bro Jo