Dear Bro Jo,
I recently stumbled upon your blog because of an ad that came up on my Facebook page. I clicked on it and have ended up spending hours reading your posts which have thus made me want to write a letter of my own to you.
So here’s the scenario. We had our Youth Leadership Conference at Martin’s Cove this year. There was a boy who ended up being in my family and who I thought was pretty cute.
During the three day trek, we became good friends and when I got home, on Facebook, I had a friend request from him.
We emailed back and forth occasionally and I even went to a tri-stake dance that he went to.
We danced, joked around, and even flirted a little.
Then there was a several month hiatus where we didn’t really talk just because I guess we got busy and didn’t talk.
Then his school ended up at a track meet that my school also went too. I thought it was pretty lucky because it was a track meet my school didn’t normally go to.
I hung out with him and a couple of his friends all day.
A few days later, I asked him to go to prom with me and luck was with me, his parents said yes.
He came and it was really fun.
He had to leave early though so that he could get home by his curfew. ( He lives about an hour away.)
So I hugged him and said good bye but one of my guy friends said a hug wasn’t good enough.
My guy friend picked me up and told me to kiss my date.
I hugged him again and my guy friend said that wasn’t good enough.
So I kissed him on the check and my guy friend said c’mon a real kiss!
So I kissed him on the lips but it was a only a 1 second kiss.
Now my date won’t bring it up or say anything about it.
We still talk about day to day things and even some pretty serious issues, but I don’t know if were still just really good friends or if we are more now and I don’t know how to bring it up.
Should I just assume that we're still friends since it was my friend that pretty much made me kiss him or should I ask him if that kiss changed anything?
Help!
Sincerely,
Confused Beyond All Measures
Dear Measures,
That "Guy Friend" isn't much of a friend in my opinion . . .
I suspect there's some jealousy involved, but whatever the reason . . . . well, he's just not a good guy.
What he did to you and your date was out of line and inappropriate; he needs to 1) not be man-handling you, and 2) apologize to each of you.
It's likely that he helped push your date away, although I doubt a 1 second kiss forced on the two of you by some blowhard who was pushing you on him did anything more than help him realize that he doesn't want a girlfriend.
Which, to be honest, is in my opinion for the best.
Right now you two should be friendly, and occasional Casual Group Dates are a good idea, but now is not the time for something more.
It sounds like he's letting it go, or trying to, and I think you should do the same.
There's nothing wrong with simple kisses at your age, given that they're appropriate and the timing is right . . .
But it still sounds to me like your "pal" may have made a nice evening end very awkwardly.
What a jerk!
As if kissing wasn’t personal and awkward to begin with . . . Argh!
I have so much to say about this guy!
Let me just end with . . . your “pal” certainly is not your friend.
As for your date; don't worry . . . this too shall pass.
With enough time you’ll both be able to look back and smile . . . not laugh, necessarily, but you’ll get over it.
Somehow I bet your date is even less of a fan of your “pal” than I am.
- Bro Jo
PS: You know, I think you need to stand up for yourself more. You let this guy bully you into doing something that you didn't want to do . . . and even though he wasn't the guy who got kissed . . . well . . . it's just not good. Stand up for yourself!
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