Dear Bro Jo,
It's me again!
So I'm 16 right now, and I love reading your blog. I just started my senior year and it's way fun so far.
But recently I've been reading your age difference column, and I can't help but think about the future!
I plan on applying to BYU-Provo in October, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it.
The thing is that I'm going to be just over 17 or 17 and a half when I start college, depending on which track I decide to go for, and I'm confused.
When I get to college am I supposed to hide from the world and not date for a few years?
Should I tape a sign on my back saying "I'm only 17!!" and shun all males that try to talk to me??
Because right now, I have no problem dating some of the people who are just sophomores in high school because some of them are the same age as me...and wouldn't it be inappropriate if I was in college going on dates with people still in high school??
Sincerely,
The Young One
Dear Young One,
No, I wouldn't say you should hide from the world . . . but I do think that 17 is too young for Serious Single Dating.
Until you're ready, I don't see a problem with you continuing to go on Casual Group Dates, even with guys still in High School.
Perhaps after a year of college, once you turn 18 or so . . . then you'll be ready.
Have fun at school!
- Bro Jo
6 comments:
Hey, I was in the same situation when I started at the Y. I was super uncomfortable at first, but once I realized a) I didn't want any serious dating and b)most of the guys I went on dates didn't want any either (they were all premies), it became a LOT less awkward and way more fun. Don't stress it too much. :) You're going to love it here!
Of course now aren't there a lot fewer (if any) Pre Mi's?
Bro Jo
Going to a college takes time to get use to. I'm sure you'll be ready to date seriously in 6 months. Just enjoy getting to know people. I still went on big group dates in college and we had a lot of fun. A group date takes off all the pressure to impress and lets you get to know someone on a more casual basis. If you like the guy then flirt and get him to ask you on a single date.
I was 17 when I graduated from high school. I ended up not starting college for another year anyway, but the year I was just working I would have loved to begin serious dating, only there wasn't anyone really doing such a thing where I was. My parents told me specifically that they were okay with me dating returned missionaries at that point. Yes, it doesn't happen often, but if you're out of high school, then there's actually no difference between you and the other serious daters just because of your age (although I understand that you're not really looking for a relationship). The question I asked my mom one day that year was, if so many people had spent the time I was a Laurel telling me that my biggest goal in life should be to be a wife and mother and this was the most important thing I could do and I shouldn't start other things that would conflict with that when it happened, why were they all suddenly telling me now that I was out of high school, that I shouldn't think about dating seriously, but instead should start a career of some kind and go "do my own thing for a while" before starting this most important thing? I felt very discriminated against because the pressure on me was so hard and I think it was because I was less than 18, although they were telling all the 18 year olds that graduated when I did the same thing. It didn't even make logical sense if you thought about it.
You are fogetting the legal aspect of the issue. A person who is 17 is still considered a child and dependant where an 18 year old can be independant and their parents will not be held accountable for their choices. Every child is different but the law has drawn the line at 18.
@ Anon,
Not forgetting at all . . . and you're not entirely correct.
When it comes to marriage:
http://family.findlaw.com/marriage/state-by-state-marriage-age-of-consent-laws.html
There's a gap, and it's not consistent across the country or around the world, but "adults" are allowed to date minors.
There are no legal consequences if a 21-year old person wants to date a 17-year old . . . anywhere, I think.
- Bro Jo
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