Kissing?

Dear Bro Jo,

When exactly would you say kissing and/or holding hands on a date is OK? People say to save your kisses for that "special someone", but the rules seem kind of foggy as far as high school goes. I mean, say I go on a date with a guy I like, and he's dropping me off, and he kisses me goodnight? Is that OK? (And if not, how do I get out of it?)

- Melody M.


Dear MM,

Light up the runway; The Fog is About to Lift!

When is it OK?

If you're still in High School, I say a good-night smooch at the door is OK provided it's quick and you've been out with the guy more than a couple times.

It's OK to hold hands on the date so long as you're both not too clingy, for example: while strolling through the mall is OK, while you're trying to eat dinner is not.

No make out sessions, and don't kiss him goodnight in the car - make the lazy/horny punk at least get out, open your door and walk you to the steps.

You should also be armed with knowledge of how to get out of the un-wanted potential kiss situation. Here's somethings you can do (you'll have to judge for yourself which ones fit your personality and the situation):

1. The Quick Goodbye. "OK, well thanks! See you later!" and in the house you go. People have to work up Kissing Courage - don't linger and he won't have the time to be brave.
2. The Fear Excuse. "Did you see that? I think my dad was watching us through the window!" (and, Dads, you probably should be peeking occasionally) No boy wants to deal with the wrath of your father (or Mom or Grandma or Aunt or whomever else is the keeper of your purity).
3. The Upfront. Bring it up before he's even got the car in park "I had a great time. Just so you know, I don't kiss on first twenty dates". No pressure.
4. The Brush Off. "Thanks for taking me out. You know who you should go out with? (insert name here) I think you'd really hit it off. Maybe the four of us can double date next time. You, her, me and this boy I'm crazy about!"
5. The Horror. (this is only if you're mean or he's really deserving) "Do you have some gum? You better chew it all the time; once a girl smells that breath she couldn't possibly think about kissing you anytime soon".

You get the idea.

A great "alternative" to Hand Holding is for the girl to take the guy by the arm. My wife still does that; it's pretty cool!


Now, if you've graduated high school (post mission for boys) and are now at the point in life where it's time to enter "Serious Dating Mode", I sing a slightly different tune.

You Young Single Adults and Single Adults need to do a fair share of hand holding and smooching. I'm still not advocating the pre-engagement make-out session, and by all means don't put yourselves in situations where you need to turn your Temple Recommend into your Bishop, but come on already!

Any good date, meaning one where you'd like to go out with this person again, should have a "kiss at the end" option, if not on the first date, certainly by the third. If you're not kissing at the end of the third date, one of you needs to ask the other what the heck the problem is.

If the attraction isn't strong enough between two marriage-age adults that they aren't interested in holding hands and kissing by the third date, Move On! Too many other fish in the sea . . .

(you can drop this notion of "only one right person out there for me" garbage right now!)

- Bro Jo