The Game

Here it goes Bro Jo,

This must be a really fun past time, a time consuming one to be sure, but kinda fun. Just know that you are truly appreciated :0)

I was just reading your latest posts and a couple caught my attention, I clicked on your "How a girl can get a guy to ask her on a date" link and read the suggestions. Now, I have a rather outgoing type of personality and in relationships I usually scare the guy away, or become the best friend... so kind of both of the extremes. I don't particularly like "the game" unless I'm winning, but winning takes patience. Anyway back to my point, the link I clicked on a read. You say to not be over bearing, aggressive, or forward; my question is, how are you suggestions not all of those things?

I would think flat out saying to a guy that he should ask you out would be kind of intimidating for them. Don't get me wrong, I would do it, but I don't think I would have very good luck. Like I said, I'm not a big fan of "the game" so not playing would be my favorite choice.

All in all, how do these date getting plans not scare a guy?

:0) Thinking too hard



Dear Thinking,

What can I say? I'm a sucker for helping young people. (And thanks for the encouragement!)

You make a fair point, but the difference between what I suggest and "overbearing aggressiveness" is in the delivery. The other thing to remember is that a lot of what I right, while true and effective, is also written with humor. You've got to find the approach that's right for you. The "Compliment" and "Lead Him" suggestions might work best for you; neither are too bold.

As for "the game", I'm tempted to point out to you the adage that "you can't win if you don't play!", but I also understand where you're coming from. You want to be honest and sincere, right? And you feel like "game playing" is the opposite of that, right?

But I argue that this whole process is supposed to be fun, so lighten up and enjoy!

Instead of being intimidating, try being a little fun and flirty.

- Bro Jo




Bro Jo,

I try really I do, and I sure hope I am getting better... but to be completely honest, rejection gets so tiring and really causes me to get down in the dumps. I do play, because, like you said... I have to. I guess I just don't know when is the point that I give encouragement... does that make sense? Um, how do I know that he likes me enough to even want encouragement? Yeah yeah that is what I meant... Shanks!

:0) Thinking too much... again





Dear Thinking,

Well . . . you don't use the "How a Girl Can Get a Guy to Ask Her Out" stuff on strangers.

You'll know that he likes you enough because he talks to you a lot, or keeps asking you to dance, or stares . . . stuff like that.

- Bro Jo