I have a huge, convoluted "unrequited love" situation I could tell you about, but before I decide to wear out my fingers with all that typing, I want to ask you two things:
1) Of the options you give for things girls can really be to their guy 'friends' you mention the 'sister and nothing's ever going to happen' option and how rare that is. Would you like to elaborate on how rare? Haha. Out of future date hope, back up plan, tool, not that close of a friend, or sister, I'm thinking future date hope or sister are most likely. I should be able to tell, I suppose, but I am too caught up with all this to see clearly anymore, I fear. Like I said, long story.
2) What are your general thoughts on unrequited feelings? Or currently/apparently unrequited, at least--and how can you tell?!
Thanks for all the great advice. I guess I still need some more though :)
Just a Sister?
Dear Sister,
1) Rare enough that I question its existence in any dimension we might label reality (although I did just get a letter from a Young Woman who serves in a military combat unit, and the men she serves with think of her as a "sister", or at least she thinks they do). If I were to rank them from top to bottom, in my opinion (not yet backed up by science, but perhaps someday . . .), I'd say this:
Bro Jo's List of
IF HE CAN'T BE YOUR CLOSE FRIEND, HOW DOES HE REALLY SEE YOU?
1) Future Date Hope - He's Friendly, but really wishes he could date you some day, even if he'll never have the courage to act. = 60%
(A couple quick things about "Back Up Plan": a) it's really no different than "Future Date Hope", and b) I honestly think most guys don't think that far ahead)
2) How can you tell how he sees you? Ask your best friend; the one that will tell it to you straight rather than just tell you what you want to hear. Or, better yet, ask a close family member.
(You could ask the guy of course, but he may just lie.)
My General Thoughts are:
A) If you're a woman in a platonic relationship, it's your fault. You've made it too easy for him.
and B) Get out. If you're over 19 it's time to move on. You're wasting your time, and probably scaring off any guys with real potential.
How can you tell it's unrequited? Um, well, it's simple: has he kissed you? That's usually a pretty good sign that he has romantic feelings . . .
Of course, you could always just . . . oh . . . I don’t know . . . talk to him about it . . .
Communication is an amazing thing.
- Bro Jo
3 comments:
I'm laughing so hard! I had a guy friend who was like a brother to me when I was at BYU-I. We had a perfect relationship. I had a computer and he had a car. I guess we fell into that tool category.
I set him up with my roommate and now they're married with two girls.
Sometimes guys think there is something going on when there isn't. Example: there was a guy in my ward who had to make a two hour bus ride to get to church. I figured that since he was on the way I would start picking him up and taking him home. Man! Soon I had people in the ward ask me how long we had been dating and telling me that he was going around tell ing people that we were dating! I had to put a stop to that. Poor guy had to resume taking the bus when he just couldn't accept the fact that I was only trying to help.
You're right, communication is SOOO important!
Was the percentages adding up to 105% on purpose? lol either way thanks for this and what you do
@ Mel,
You know . . . I honestly don't remember! Could have just been bad math.
Thanks for reading and the kind words,
- Bro Jo
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