Move or Stay?

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a YSA, and I moved away for school, and I love where I am. I have a lot of amazing friends, a Mormon boyfriend and a great roommate. The only problem is that my program is almost over, and I'll be moving back after this semester. I've considered staying here, but I am in a lot of debt and need to go back home to live with my parents while I pay it off -- not to mention the career I've chosen has a lot of demand where I'm originally from, and absolutely no demand out here. So I have to move back at the end of the semester, and my boyfriend has to stay here. I think it will break my heart moving away from this boy, though. Should I just break up with him now so it won't hurt as much when I move back home? It may sound like a stupid question but I really need a little guidance here. Broken hearts are no fun!

Thanks for listening to my ramble.

- Worried for the future


Dear Worried,

Not a stupid question at all!

Let me ask: How serious are the two of you?

How long have you been dating? Are the two of you dating exclusively?

Does he know you're leaving? If so, what has he said about that?

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Yes, we are dating exclusively. It's only been a few months but he is the only guy out of everyone I've dated that I have ever said those three words back to. I really fell flat on my face for him! He knows I'm leaving eventually, but we've never talked about it because it's easier just to pretend that I'm not.

Thanks for answering me!

- Worried


Dear Worried,

So what we're talking about here is do you pick the guy (who hasn't proposed, but he's told you he loves you and you've told him you love him) or the great job (which you don't have yet, but figure you can get) near family . . .

How soon until you leave?

And, if he asked you to stay, would you?

See, you need to know where you stand. It's time to look at things logically. Tough, I know, when Love is involved, but crucial.

So let's get to the point: if he asked, and you agreed to stay, under what circumstances would you stay? Does it require a proposal? (I think it should - are you ready for that?) Or are you willing to stick it out 3-6 more months to determine if he's The Guy? (At your age and station in life, if the relationship doesn't progress in 6 months -or less - of exclusive dating, I say Move On. Remember: Exclusive Dating as a Young Single Adult or Single Adult needs to be accompanied with asking those tough, exploratory questions to see if this is someone you can tolerate for Eternity.)

Jobs are easier to find than Good Spouses (in the 18+ years I've been married I've had only 1 wife but worked lots of places) . . . so perhaps you need a little time to think - but don't take too long.

I wouldn't "break-up" just to lessen future pain, I'd break up if the relationship dies or is going no where.

- Bro Jo