Mission or Marriage?

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm in a confusing predicament right now.

First of all, I've been planning on going on a mission since I can remember. I'm very passionate about it as well. I have an official count-down, and everytime I feel the incompassing love of the Savior, and have wonderful spiritual experiences I want even more to share that with all of my brothers and sisters. I want more than anything for all my siblings to be in the Celestial kingdom and just as much for all my heavenly siblings. I'm way adament about doing member missionary work as well. I'm turning 20 in less than a month. So, since a girl can turn her papers in 3 months before she turns of age, I can turn mine in in less than 10 months.

I took my first year of college at home away from BYU. Then this last April, while dating a guy who was 22 and also planning on turning in his papers this coming sept/oct, (hint, this way it was safe, for no one to get in my way of a mission) I moved down to Utah to gain and learn experience of living on my own, and a bit of real college life (compared to a community college and living at home).

I safely and nicely ended the relationship with the boy I was dating, over two months ago so it'd be easier. Now, this is where it gets tricky-Its getting to be about the end of August, and my predicament is weather I should stay here in Utah,-(pro's-I have a part-time job, a place to live month to month, all my friends are down here, i get to live on my own, grow up, and the hard one . . .

I've been starting to date this guy. Now he's an RM, and that scares me a bit, but I really like him and love hanging out with him.) or go back home-(pro's-As of today I have a interview scheduled for a good full-time job which is very promising which would help me save up for my mission, I wouldn't have to pay rent, for I'd be living at home again, and I could be a good influence to my best friend little brother who needs a good influential friend, since his best friend and only strength of a friend died 3 months ago whose now having quite a bit of trouble with church and the word of wisdom.

So independent from my brother, (for I can be an influence either place, and I can't take away his free agency). and school, (I'd be taking online classes either way.) I'm choosing between going home and being finiancially secure for my mission, or staying in utah and continue dating this guy and living and growing in a good college town on my own, gaining experiences i never would have before and definantly cant get at home.

I've prayed about it lots, -The Lord tells me, both are good. This is a decision I have to make.
I've gone to the temple Lots-The Lord tells me, both are good. This is a decision I have to make.

I've fasted-The Lord tells me, both are good. This is a decision I have to make.

But I'm stressing myself out as to what I should do.

Please! Any suggestions?

- Guidance Hungry


Dear GH,

No suggestions - far be it for me to contradict what the Lord is telling you - but maybe I can help you discover what you deep down already know to be true.

Let me ask you a few questions.

How soon do you NEED to make this decision?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

If you had to choose between a Mission or a Temple Marriage, which would you pick?

Have you discussed your dilemma with him?

- Bro Jo


Dear GH,

It's been 2 months since I replied to your email . . . thought I'd follow up.

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Thank You. Wow, never would've thought u'd wanna know what happened. Just assumed everyones busy with their crazy lives.

The story continued like this:

I went to Temple Square by myself a few days before I would either have to go home, or stay. I love temple square immensely. Walked around, met a bunch of people, and then went upstairs to the Christus Statue.

I was sitting there in the room by myself when a pair of sister missionaries came up, and started chatting with me. Of course this is going to happen. I'm in temple square. And I love it. We got talking, and as they were bearing their testimony of how wonderful being on their mission is, I felt really good about going home. Not like an absolutely Yes!, Your going on your mission and everything will be wonderful, just a peaceful feeling that i didn't belong with this guy, that I still have more growing up to do before being married, plus we weren't super serious.

Joining my family at home I've been able to be a good example, my brother isn't doing pot anymore, i'm able to deal with the death of my friend more with people that knew and loved him, and I have a very nice full time job with a small business with a wonderful atmosphere of the majority mormons. I'm doin online classes, and filling up my bank account, with perhaps what will be someday be for a mission, or even help towards a down payment with my future spouse.

Whatever the Lord has in store for me, I shall try my hardest to be ready.

Thank You again! I appreciate your sincerity and advice. :)

- (Name withheld)


Dear Friend,

So often it seems that if we take a step back, things become more clear.

I appreciate your story and your testimony; I'm sure sharing it will help and inspire others.

- Bro Jo