Which Bishop?

Dear Bro Jo,

I tried to write on the blog but couldn’t figure it out!

I have a question...

My boyfriend and I have decided that we want to get married, and the only place we want to do that is in the temple.

Neither of us are temple worthy.

We knew the usual wait for our situation was a year so we immediately set an appointment with our college ward bishop. I was leaving for Germany in a few weeks to be a nanny, so we knew we needed to get started.

At our meeting the bishop told me that I had to get this started in Germany and I needed to wait until I got there... obviously I was very upset. And was even more upset when I came to Germany and found that the only church was 2 hours away, and the bishop doesn’t even speak English. I have been attending this church every Sunday, reading, praying, and doing everything I need to do to try and get myself worthy. But I know I still need to meet with a bishop to clear some things up.

I’m not coming home for 3 more months, and I am really frustrated that I haven’t been able to "officially" start my repentance process yet.

I love my now fiancé and want to marry him as soon as possible... but am really upset I may have to wait another year because that bishop wouldn’t let me. What should I do??

(name withheld)


Dear NW -

The reason for working with your German Bishop may be one of many things, not the least of which that regular-meetings with your current Bishop, whomever that may be, are often required.

Set an appointment to meet with your German Bishop right away - set it for tomorrow (Sunday) if you can. Even if he's not an English speaker, he may invite a High Priest (like, perhaps, one of his councilors) to translate the meeting (not that uncommon).

If he's out of town, try to set the appointment for when he immediately returns.

If he's going to be gone for a very long time, or if (and I think this is very unlikely) he won't meet with you, call the Stake Presidency - right away.

Do your best to be understanding - you're a guest in another country - but please make the necessary calls right away.

Keep me posted, would you?

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

I just returned from my trek to church!! I now feel that I can relate to the pioneers in their journeys :) haha

I talked to my bishop, a missionary translated for me, and he said because I’m returning home soon that it would be better for me to wait. and that because I live so far away from the church and the days he has for appointments are days that I work so he wouldn’t be able to meet with me regularly. And he said that they usually say a year but it doesn’t have to be exactly a year. So I feel a little better about it.

So I can meet with my bishop when I move back home to good ol' southern Utah! Fingers crossed that everything works out! :)

- (name withheld)


Dear NW,

How soon is "soon"???

Will you be returning to the same Bishop you had before?

It's not my business what this issue is that you need to work out with a Bishop, but I can tell you that there's often consideration given to how long it's been since the last transgression, and when you finally do talk to a Bishop, you'll want to mention the efforts you've put forth trying to get this resolved.

If you're going to be in the same area for 2 or more months, I'd recommend moving forward now. If your Bishop is truly unwilling, I'd approach the Stake President . . . right away.

If you're going back to the same Ward, Bishop, or Stake, I'd contact someone there right away, too.

I don't mean to be pushy, but I know that once you and your Fiancé are back in the same place, the temptations you've faced before will be even stronger. Don't take "no" for an answer; don't "procrastinate the day of your repentance"!

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but I think you should be more persistent and more insistent.

Ultimately, the Lord is in charge, but it IS our responsibility to do all we can.

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

I made an appointment with my bishop... I will let you know how it goes!!

- NW



Good luck and God bless - I'm proud of you!

- Bro Jo



Dear bro Jo,

Thank you so much for telling me to pretty much get my butt into the bishop’s office! I needed to hear it.

And now I am on the right path...

Really, thank you so much for encouraging me to go, I know without it I would have put it off, and it was only hurting me to do that.

Love,

A very grateful girl


Dear GG,

Good for you!

You're welcome, and thank you!

- Bro Jo