Getting a Dating Buddy

Dear Br Jo,

Alright, so I am one of those guys that tries to follow the church guidelines on dating. I have numerous girls that i want to go on dates with. I have asked most of them, with the ones not asked either being in a relationship, or unavailable for conversation. The part that i do not know how to determine is getting the additional people for the group date, just couples ruins the point, as they'll likely split off anyway, and trying to get another guy to invite a girl, is fairly impossible.

Also my contacts within the church youth is not all that great, regardless of whether they are available or not, they are too large of a distance, for me to be comfortable about their parents giving permission. Advice from later years would be greatly appreciated.

- Anon


Dear Brother,

My own boys have struggled with this very thing.

Sort of.

You want to go Casual Group Dating, but you can't get any other guys to go; so now what do you do?

Well that's part of "The Plan", and I think you might be more successful by broadening your friend base.

One of the things I don't think you understand is that, in Casual Group Dating you absolutely DO pair up. The guy-girl numbers need to be even. It's a D-A-T-E. So with that in mind, double or triple dating is enough.

Sadly, and one of the reasons I even started this column over a year ago, is because too many LDS Young Men don't date - at all.

You can try to encourage your brethren to participate, but there's no guarantee. And in your case, where most of your comrades live far away, it really does become nigh impossible.

But don't rule out the guys that have relationships, even the mis-guided LDS ones.

In fact, sometimes those guys with girlfriends are a better choice simply because they already know whom they're going to take out. My guys have said that their non-LDS pals, including those with girlfriends, have made some of the best dating buddies.

You don't have to be LDS to follow the Dating Rules, or to be a decent guy.

You need several dating buddies, and those numbers will go up if you widen your circle of friends.

- Bro Jo