Dear Bro Jo,
I've been reading this blog for many months now, and love the advice you give to us all; But now, I think its time I got some advice for myself before I put myself into a annoying or bad position. I'm about to 18 within a few weeks, and have been happily enjoying my LDS social life with my friends, but things have happened and now that fun might be short lived...
I have a number of LDS friends who have been in early boyfriend/girlfriend relationships for months now. Pretty much in the past few weeks most of those relationships have ended, but most of them are back together with someone else now anyway. I haven't had and don't plan on getting a girlfriend anytime soon, but unfortunately now the tables have turned on the odd boy out, being yours truly!
My friends have always being jokingly suggesting I get into a relationship and join the crowd, and I can easily brush them aside most of the time; Over the past two weeks however, while they get into there new relationships, they (My LDS Male Friends) have been increasing there efforts to get me into something abit more serious than just friends with any of the LDS girls; Already they are trying to set me up for a date to a church ball in September, and have started to try to get me to come on there now non-exclusive group
dates - I've had to decline every offer so far because of family and other commitments, but I realize I can't hide behind excuses forever.
I know that no matter who I ask though, they'll all start assuming I like her, and that within afew weeks we'll both be boyfriend/girlfriend, atleast to them all anyway - Something I want to
avoid...
What makes my problem worse is that I kinda do like this one girl - By the way she is acting around me, I say she has some sort of interest in me, but I'm not entirely sure. Regardless, all my male LDS friends are pressuring me to ask her, amongst a number of other girls, for there group dates! While I would like to get to know her abit more, I don't want to be forced into a position I don't want to be in, and no matter what I say after any date I go on, they won't let it down for months...
I guess my question is, what do I do? I personally would love to go on group dates with any girl, but the way my friends will act afterwards, I don't want to be annoyed with them until I go my mission...
-CGB
Dear CGB,
My friend it's time for you to start dating.
No more excuses and no more fear.
Your concerns about girls reading too much into a date is valid (we've had a very informative discussion along those lines going on the Facebook Discussion Board -
The key is to communicate up front.
It's simple, really.
"Hi! My buddies and I are setting up a quadruple date for this Friday. Any chance you'd like to be the date of a guy who's not looking for a girlfriend? I promise we'll have fun and I'll be a total gentleman."
That's it.
And don't just go on a couple dates - go on lot's of them! (Including a few with this girl you like.) Read "Bro Jo's Dating Rules for Teens" (if you haven't already), review them with your parents, ask me about anything that doesn't make sense, and then Go Man!
Don't worry about what your friends will say. True friends will be supportive, anyway, and if their not now, believe me, they will be once they see all the fun-without-entanglements you'll be having. Talk to them before hand, tell them how you feel, get them on board by asking them to help you.
And have a Ball at the Ball!
- Bro Jo
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