Hey Bro Jo,
I have a quick question for you.. When you talk about being in the 'friend zone' and girls hanging out with guys.. Are there limits to when you can hang out or not? For instance if a group of friends get together to play sports or go to the beach, is that alright as far as hanging out with guy friends? I'm just curious how the 'no hanging out' works. Thanks for everything!
-Gal Pal
Dear GP -
Great Question!
And thank you for the letter.
A bunch of friends at the beach or playing sports is great! Especially if you're a teen.
But when you're an adult, and it's time to do some more Serious Dating, then there has to be more than just the regular group party.
Hanging out, in my mind, is when college-age guys loiter at college-age girls' apartments, watching videos, making each other dinner . . .
When they start doing those things that couples should be doing together As A Couple, but they're not a couple, that's when they've entered the dangerous "Friend Zone".
If a YSA looks around and sees that there's more Group Activities than dating, then it's time to make a change.
- Bro Jo
2 comments:
What do you think of "hanging out" with guys in groups if you don't want them to ask you out? If a girl doesn't like these guys that way they've become "buds" then is it ok to "hang out" with these guys often say going to movies, games nights etc?
It may depend on how old you are . . . there's a big difference between friend groups at 14 and 24 . . .
But for the sake of the point, I'll respond as if you're a marrying-age adult.
I think you may be surrounded by a bunch of guys who want to date you. You think you've firmly stuck them in the Friend Zone, and they're hoping for something more.
Unless their dumb. I suppose that's a possibility . . .
Is there something "un-datable" about you? Something that would make them say:
"She's a ton of fun! I love spending time with her! She's sweet, smart and easy to talk to. I love Hanging Out with her . . . but I never want to date her!"
I also think it's possible that you're all either afraid . . . or wasting each other's time.
Look, I think spending time with friends is great! I see nothing wrong with the occasional party or get-together . . . after all, there's not a better way to meet a new potential love interest!
But if the Hang Out is the end and all of your social time . . . like I said at the end of the post: it's time to make a change.
- Bro Jo
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