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Monday, November 9, 2015

His Friend's Girlfriend Asked Him to Prom . . . What Should He Do?

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey Bro Jo!

I've got a Problem.

I have a friend that I really liked a while ago, but when I told her I liked her, another boy named "Dude" had told her that very same thing a day before.

She chose Dude over me and they have been happily steady dating ever since (about a year and a half).

When this school year started, they "broke up" because her classes this school year are super hard and Dude is preparing for a mission and he wanted to cut ties now rather than the day he left.

Thing is, they're definitely NOT broken up.

There has been plenty (but not an obscene amount) of PDA between them when I've seen them.

So here's where my problem starts.

This girl has just asked me to prom and I'm feeling very awkward about it.

I'm friends with Dude, and this girl, but it feels weird going out with the girl I got over a year and a half ago, especially while she still has a boyfriend.

What do I do?

It seems odd to go but rude and hurtful to say no.

Any suggestions?


- Awkotaco in SLC

Dear A,

Isn't prom in the Spring???

I'm sensing that you're all still in High School; am I getting that right?

It might help a little if I know how old everyone in this circumstance is.

And, just curious: how did she ask you?

Oh! And WHY?

Not that you're not a great guy, I'm sure you are, but what's a girl doing asking a guy to prom?

Is she putting together a group?

Are you her date?

Is she now saying she likes you? 

Or is she just, as I suspect, using you to get back at the other guy?

See . . . I typically have a "go with the first decent person that asks you" policy, but I also temper that with an understanding that sometimes nice people ask Way Too Early, and often y'all have someone you're more interested in going with, and shouldn't necessarily have to say yes 6 months before a dance simply because Mr. (or in this case, Miss) Overeager asked too soon.

I wonder what would happen if you told her the truth . . .

"Hey, you know that a year and a half ago I had a crush on you and you picked the other guy. Now you're telling everyone you've broken up but I still see you with him. Whether or not I still like you or think we'd have fun together, the truth is that I feel like you're using me to get to him. So I'm not sure how I feel about that or what to say."

How she answers may be quite helpful.

What do you think?

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Yeah some background is probably a good idea.

This is a girl's choice dance, and my school has a winter prom and a spring prom.

This dance is in the first half of December.

Yes, she and the rest of the people in the group are putting everything together.

Dude graduated this past June, girl and I are both seniors.

I don't think she is saying she likes me, I think she wanted someone who was a friend to go with.

I'm not getting the vibe that she's using me.

This girl is literally one of the most honest, kindest, Christlike people I know, so I don't think she's using me.

Oh, and she asked me by putting post-it notes all over my yard with stuff written on them and had her name in one of a bunch of balloons.

- A

Dear A,

With all of that information I can't think of any reason you shouldn't go with her.

Don't over think this.

Go. Have a good time!

- Bro Jo

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