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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Should Her Bi-sexuality Keep Her from Missionary Service?

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey Bro Jo!

It's me again, so just being straight forward . . . I'm bisexual (non practicing) and I'm due for a mission soon even though it is postponed right now.

So only a few people in my life know that I'm bi and those people are not even close to me because I'm so terrified of losing the people who are the closest.

Anyways back to the topic, so my mission has been postponed due to personal issues and I've told my stake president that I'm bi but should I tell the Bishop too?

Because maybe that'll I don't know help things or is it not relevant seeing as I'm not practicing.

But I am worried however because I'm going to be with girls 24/7 and I just don't know if I can handle it along with my problem

- Name Withheld




Dear NW,

So let's be clear. 

Do you say you're bi-sexual because you find girls and boys sexually attractive? 

Or because you've had sex with both boys and girls? 

What does "non-practicing" mean to you? 

Does it mean "not now", "not ever", or "never"? 

Your email seems to imply that you're a girl; is that correct? 

When you say that your mission has been postponed, does that mean you've already applied? 

Has a mission call been issued? 

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

Hey, no; I don't have sex with guys or girls.

I'm sexually attracted to both and yes I am a girl and non practicing means not doing anything with girls of the sexual nature (I'm in the closet and don't have plans of coming out).

And yes I've already applied for my mission.  I know where I'm going but the date has been shifted so I can have time to sort out my issues.

- NW




Dear NW,

Do you know that attraction is not enough to mean that one is homosexual or bi? 

To be that you have to:

     a) be having sex, 

or 

     b) choose to be identified as such. 

Only acting out makes you such.

Simply recognizing the attractiveness of someone the same gender as you does not mean you’re gay. True story.

Now, IMHO, gay, bi, straight or otherwise if you can't control your sexual impulses you have no business on a mission.

Nor do I think it's appropriate for someone who intends to engage in homosexual behavior post mission to be teaching about Temples and Eternal Marriage to potential members.

But I also think all of this ultimately needs to be between you, God, and priesthood authority.

Before you go.

Remember, simply wanting to do something is not the same as actually doing it.

Self-control and self-mastery are how we should be using our agency, and when we do we grow closer to God and He blesses us.

To my mind you're not "in the closet", you're in control of your thoughts and passions.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can see, however, how being bombarded and tempted with unwanted thoughts can make a person uncomfortable with their sense of worthiness. The cliche "It's not a sin for a bird to land on your head, but you can choose not to let it make a nest" is a cliche for a reason. A lot of people experiencing same-sex attraction do feel like that bird is a sin, and sometimes fixate on it. I think it's wise to learn to accept a thought for what it is and move on without either indulging or punishing yourself.

Pray to feel God's love. Ask for blessings at every opportunity. Spend time at the temple. You will feel love and your whole identity there, and your mind will be turned to the things that will make you a great missionary!