Cheese Wants to Date

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi again!!! OK so I actually have two situations, one is dating concerning other is friend concerning.

I'll start with the friend concerning. What can you do when you have a friend who is so imature and wont listen to you if you want to help her??

Dating: we don't have a lot of LDS here where I live, that means there are not a lot of young men and the ones we have are either too you, too older too bad or taken. what are your options when you want to date but all the people in your ward are as bad as non-members???

And you try your stake guys but most of them are older or younger???

And you want to experience dating because you don't want to get married with the first man you see. the thing is that I want to go to a mission, my parents support me, and is a wish I always had since I got baptized, my mom doesn't want me to date a lot because she doesn't want me to "hook" with someone and lose all hopes on going on a mission and get married with that man.

I told her dating is different from actually a steady relationship, she is convinced of that but then she told me that if I dated they have to be worthy members which there are not a lot around here, or they are but as I told you before: taken, older, or younger.

So do I wait until I go to BYU which will be like in 3 or 4 years???

Or do I wait until after my mission to date?

Which will be too old and I told you before I want to date a lot before taking the big step.

-Cheesy (as in cheese)


Dear Cheese,

Sorry for the two month delay!

But here we go:

Item 1) What can you do with a friend who won't listen to your advice? Stop giving it. Unless a person is in serious danger (or our child), we shouldn't be jumping in and offering unsolicited advice, no matter how much they may need it. It's tough. You care about her, and you're probably right that she could use your help - some friendships and relationships (like between Sister Jo and I) are at a level where advice giving is openly OK and even then consistent badgering can be unwelcome - but your friend seems to have made it clear that you should mind your own business, so that's exactly what you should do.

Item 2) As far as dating, I agree that once you're 16 you should be out there Casual Group Dating, but you need to obey your parents, too. Keep talking to your mom about the subject. Don't try to wear her down with incessant pleading, but share with her how you feel about the Good Guys and Bad Guys at school. Share your concerns, hopes and dreams about marriage. Parents can seem very irrational to teens, and perhaps we are. Parenthood can be vary scary, and because we care so much, because we fear making a big mistake, we often go overboard. Share the Dating Rules with your mom, discuss them, and see if there's a way for you both to come to a level of comfort and understanding.

- Bro Jo