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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

The Power of Prayer AND . . .

Dear Bro Jo,

Last night we had a Stake Dance. It was really fun and I got asked to dance by a bunch of guys. One guy didn't exactly ask me, but my friend and his friend started dancing, and then we looked at each other and without saying a word, put our hands out to each other and started dancing.

He is friends with a guy in my ward, so he's not a member of the Church, but he is Lutheran (which I think is still Christian), so he's a really nice, good guy.

We talked about various things and smiled at each other a lot and I felt like we made a connection. I had prayed earlier that day before the dance that guys would ask me, and they did, and I also prayed that I would dance with a guy that I could feel a connection with, and someone I could like.

I know my prayers were answered, and I can't stop thinking about him. I'm praying nonstop that I'll know what these feelings are, because I've never felt this way before, and I'm praying that he would feel the same connection I did. I'm only 14, so I know I can't date yet.

But, I just really want to get to know him better. I'm hoping that he'll come to more Church activities with the boy from my ward, but if he does I don't know what to do or say. I'm just confused. Like, I just don't know how to feel or what to think.

- S


Dear S,

I love the first half of you letter! What a great testimony of the power of prayer!

But I think you need to back WAY OFF on the Boyfriend Thing.

There's nothing wrong with having a crush, and certainly nothing bad about getting to know this boy better. You should get to know him! And the best way to do that is to talk, build those communication skills!



He's got a lot about him that you like, and that's OK.  This time in your life is when you get to know what type of guys you're attracted to, and that's a big part of what you're feeling.

But as you head into your "Casual Group Dating" years you want to avoid any specific commitments. I know the trap: girls (and women) can convince themselves that their individual worth is tied to or bolstered by being in a relationship, and that's just not true. Having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you have more value (neither does not having one mean that you don't have value).

So get to know this boy, and get to know other boys too!

Have fun!

- Bro Jo


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