Dear Bro Jo,
Just for the record, I am 14, soon to be 15
I know that girls my age shouldn't be worrying about guys at all yet, but this is something that has been on my mind, and I think you can help me feel better about it.
Whenever I go to church dances, EFY, etc., I see everyone around me with someone. Unfortunately, guys don't notice me. I don't even know why. I'm not trying to be something I'm not, I take care of my appearance, and I try to socialize, but I just get ignored. At EFY, when everyone else in my group had an escort, almost every single time, I had to be the one to ask if I was going to be escorted. I feel like I'm invisible, and it's taking a serious toll on my self esteem.
Again, I know I shouldn't be worrying about this yet, but what if it stays like this the rest of my life, and I end up 30 and still not married? I'm a pretty shy person, but that's no reason for people to ignore me. It makes me feel horrible about myself.
Please help, Bro Jo!
-Invisible Girl
Dear Sue Richards,
(that's a comic book reference for all of my fellow geeks out there)
Some of the most beautiful, highest value girls I've ever known didn't get much attention from guys when they were your age (Including Sister Jo! Can you believe it?!? Me either!) - so don't let it stress you out.
No matter what happens you'll always be a Daughter of God, and as such are imbued with Great Worth.
That said, I know what a boost it can be when others make us feel attractive and valuable . . . we shouldn't look outside for our internal value, but we do.
What you need to do is find those things about yourself that make you unique: your talents.
We all have them, I promise. Without even meeting you I know that you can do several things better than I can! It's just the nature of life.
So, don't be too humble here: make a list of the things you do well, and then look at what you can do to magnify one or two of those things at a time. As we magnify our talents we realize our worth and feel more confident and, most importantly, more grateful for that which we have been given.
It's too early to worry about marriage, but not to early to see the value in doing the best with what you've got and learning how to talk and flirt with the opposite sex. Check out "Bro Jo's HOW a GIRL CAN GET a BOY'S ATTENTION" and see if following those things doesn't help you to get a little more noticed.
Be Patient, and know that Heavenly Father knows you have value . . .
and so do I.
- Bro Jo
2 comments:
Some of the BEST friends I've had growing up never really dated in middle school or high school. But that was a LONG time ago and they were married long before you were even a figment of your parents' imagination. The worst thing to do is to resign yourself to a solitary eternity. Don't give up before you even start.
I think the most important thing to do is, like bro jo says, magnify your talents. I know it's not all that comforting to hear people say that as an answer to your question about attracting guys. But if you want to be attractive to guys, you have to be comfortable with yourself. Don't worry about others. Whenever I compare myself to others I always come out the looser. So, try not to compare, it's a tool satan uses to drag us down. And let me tell you, it's a slippery slope!
Don't worry about your eternal guy, he's out there. And I'm sure he's looking forward to meeting you as much as you are him. In about 10 years. ;)
Well, Sarah, I know you've written your comment at a late hour . . . and as odd as this may sound, I'd rather you found yourself to be a "loser" rather than "looser" when compared to your friends!
:D
- Bro Jo
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