Friend or Not?

Dear Brother Jo,

Like everyone else says I love the advice you give out, I'm keeping a lot of it in mind for when I can start dating in a year. And that's the thing, I have one year left and at times it's hard to wait that long, but I'm going to.

But I do have a guy friend who is in a few of my classes at school, and is LDS. We both can't date yet but are still good friends. I like him a bit and would like to date him once we are both 16.

Here's the problem though, we don't talk much about what happens outside of school. And today he was saying that he knew me well, so I asked him simple questions, such as what my favorite color, or movie, etc. and he didn't know any of them. I would really like it if he would get to know me better then just what classes I take and so forth. Then when I ask him those questions he'll tell me the answers but he never seems to even want to get to know me. Is he just shy, or just doesn't know what to do?

Or is it bad to get to know him that well before we both can start dating? And trust me I'm not going to date till I'm 16, there's no point in dating at 15, but can't we still be friends?

Sincerely,

Friend or Not?



Dear Or,

I don't know if he's shy or just incredibly self-centered.

And thanks for giving me the opportunity to clear something up: there's nothing wrong with guys and girls BEING friends, or more accurately perhaps, "being friendly"'' when I talk about "Men Can't Stay Just Good Friends with Women" there's a few things I hope everyone realizes.

1) I'm talking about Men and Women, not Boys and Girls
2) I say "can't stay" not "aren't"
and
3) the point is that men don't get into close, intimate friendships with women that they're not attracted to, typically hoping that something more comes of it, and that if the woman finds another man (or he another woman) the friendship between them should change and if it doesn't it's because he still likes her AS MORE THAN JUST A FRIEND

Whew! Lecture over.

No, there's nothing wrong with you being friends with boys your age.  Dating people you know well can be fun!

However, as far as this guy is concerned, you may have to face the fact that he's not smart enough to be interested.

But take heart, that may change as he gets older.

Just continue to be nice.

But be nice to other boys, too.

- Bro Jo