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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

It Was a Nice Date, So What Happened???

Dear Bro Jo,

I noticed your blog about a year ago from a friend and I have been reading select posts for a while and I am enjoying the good information being displayed on here.

Before I ask you my silly question, let me give you a short lead up to now.

I am 17 and I am enjoying a fairly decent life. I have a car that is reliable but nice, I have a part time job, I do well in school and I have a middle position in popularity.

However, I have been somewhat neglected girls-wise in that I have very little experience dating them or talking to them because I was quite shy earlier in my life; although I am not shy any longer and I would really like to get in as far as I can before my mission :).

I am enjoying Church very much and I enjoy magnifying my calling through doing service and other work. I have a fairly strong testimony and I have been thinking a bit about my mission although I haven't done much preparation.

Closer to subject, I know a girl in one of my classes that I have known a little since middle school, but lately I have developed quite a crush on her since school started. I see her a lot in the hallways and she is a very polite girl.

She is a nonmember and also of a different race, but I don't let that make me think twice about having a date with any girl that is presumably nice, regardless of color or creed.

I took her to lunch once earlier on in the semester and it was a very good time.

The conversation was fun, yet mature and equal on both sides.

She seemed very comfortable, and at home talking with me.

She appeared to be enjoying herself the entire time and the lunch date ended on a very positive note.

I also remember that the day I asked her to lunch, I was behind her and her friends a small distance when they were walking to their cars (because of locker positioning, we regularly see each other when leaving the school) and they would be talking, look at me, smile and then turn about talking again.

This happened a few times. I was very anxious to ask her out to lunch again and waited a week before asking her the second time.

However, this didn't go as well.

When I asked her, she had a very neutral expression and told me that her entire week was full up.

To me, this appears to be a showing of lack of interest, which is peculiar, showing what happened earlier on in the month.

When I had asked her the first time, she had been quite positive and seemed to show genuine interest in me, being very upbeat about setting the lunch date.

She normally has a fairly laid back personality, not becoming too engrossed into a particular subject.

My question to you is simple: What happened???

We seemed to be getting along wonderfully, yet she seems to have lost all interest in me over the course of a weekend.

Has she really lost interest in me?

Has someone told her a nasty rumor about me?

I am stunned completely, and now the pleasant walks to my car have taken on an air of awkwardness, because her friends and herself continue to glance at me on their way.

It would be nice for you to get back to me as soon as possible.


A Confused Friend

Dear Confused,

I don't know what happened.

Could be any number of things.

Maybe she changed her mind.

Maybe she's shy.

Maybe she doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel about her.

Maybe she's just not wanting a relationship at this time.

It's really tough to say.

You could ask her . .  girls seem to like it when we ask what they're thinking and feeling.

They REALLY like it when we ask them how we screwed up.

I believe that communication is the key to learning how someone else feels.

However, it sounds like you're obsessing a little.

Trust me, that's a HUGE turn off.

Besides, you shouldn't be worried about having a girlfriend right now.

You should very going on lots of Casual Group Dates.

And focus in preparing for that mission!

Seminary is a great help.

So is reading Preach My Gospel and sharing your Testimony (when appropriate).

I highly recommend all of that.

Save the Serious Single Dating for when you come home.

- Bro Jo

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