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Monday, January 6, 2014

Should Him Having Chats Online with Other Women Keep Her from Proposing?

Dear Bro Jo,


I am writing because I am confused.

I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months now.. and we have a relationship that only people dream of.

Well I just found out that he is flirting with on girls on the internet.

He tells me he loves me all the time and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

He also told me . . . no matter what, he promised me that he would never break my heart.

He flirts with girls calling them "hun" and beautiful and stuff.

I dont know if it just me.

I have been hurt so much before.

I don't want to lose him.

He also says the same thing.

I don't know what to think or do. I am so confused right now.

I was going to ask him to marry me soon as it will be our 1 year.

I have never felt such a connection with someone and would be so crushed to lose him.

Any advice?

Thank you,

Name Withheld

Dear NW,

Whoa, whoa, whoa

You two have some serious communicating to do before anyone proposes, and it certainly shouldn't be you doing the asking, anyway.

Instead of telling me how his behavior is making you feel, You need to be telling Him.

And if he isn't understanding, sensitive, and willing to stop then you need to cease being his girlfriend immediately.

A relationship where one of the people is an emotional cheater (yes, that's a real thing - Christ talked about it, you know) and doesn't care how the other person feels, is toxic and doomed to failure.

And you have to realize that there's something wrong if he feels the need to go outside the relationship for flirting and attention.

The fact that attention is online and not in person doesn't make it better, it makes it worse.

One last thing : I don't feel this relationship is as mature or far along as either you do or is appropriate for eleven months.

May I suggest that you both review Bro Jo 's List of Stuff You Need to Know Before You Agree to Marry and Bro Jo 's Five A 's of Why Not to Marry THAT Person.

I think they will help you have a better grip on what this relationship is, where it's at, and where it's going.

Because right now I'm very concerned.

- Bro Jo

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