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Friday, January 3, 2014

Teen-age Long Distance "Relationship"

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey there!

I have liked this guy since 8th grade and now I am in 11th grade. I went through some guys and he went through some girls as well. Now we are both available and have been talking a lot.

There is only one problem, he moved to Utah about two years ago, and I live in Washington.

He does not want to call what we have a “relationship" but because of what we have done (cuddling, holding hands, kissing, nothing sketchy) I feel like we are in one.

Basically I don’t know what is okay and what's not. Is he out kissing other girls?

Is it bad that I feel so attached to him that I don't want to do anything with any other guy?

We have agreed that we can and should go on dates with other people, but I do not really have the desire too.

- In a Relationship?



Dear Ina,

I agree that you're in some kind of "relationship" . . . or, at least, I can understand why you feel like you are . . . AND why he doesn't want to say that you are (it all kind of speaks to the differences between guys and girls, and maybe an understanding that he has and you don't about distances and how a guy can get a girl to kiss him).

The problem, little sister, isn't that he moved.

The problem is that you want to be in a relationship and you're only a junior in high school. Believe me, I understand the appeal. But the truth is that teen-aged relationships are not worth the drama, headaches and heartaches.

Plus, as you've felt, they limit the "Casual Group Dating" that you're supposed to be doing. Now is the time for you to have fun, get to know other people . . . be social . . . practice dating with no pressure and expectations . . .

How you Feel isn't bad, just your desire to Act on those feelings.

As for him kissing other girls . . . I don't know if he is . . . he may not be, but I wouldn't be surprised if he is . . . and neither should you be.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

I had a feeling you would say something along those lines. Thanks for taking the time to respond and for the advice!

- In-a




Dear In-a,

That's why I'm here!

Best,

- Bro Jo

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