Dear Bro Jo . . . : She Was Waiting, but Now She's Leaving, So What Should She Tell "Her Missionary"?

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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

She Was Waiting, but Now She's Leaving, So What Should She Tell "Her Missionary"?

Dear Bro Jo

Hello yet again!

I have a quick question that came up from your post the other day, and I think it calls for a quick response.

So apparently Heavenly Father wants me to go on a mission :)

So that's what I've been focusing on in my life lately.

Well, regarding this missionary I was dating before he left, I'm not sure what to do.

Next week he'll have been out 6 months, and as I haven't even done my interview with the Stake President yet, there will definitely be some time that he's home when I'm not.

I'm not sure what he'll do in that time.

He hasn't made a decision on where he wants to go to school, but he'll probably be leaving in the fall for college.

That's fine.

I'm not worried about it.

What I am worried about is the whole dating-thing.

I have no problems with him dating other girls!

I just don't know how to tell him so.

We never discussed it before he left because it wasn't really in "the plan."

I have three options that I've thought of:

1. I've written him letters to read when he gets home, I could write one where I tell him to get out, have fun, show some girls a great time!

2. I can wait till he writes me about it and then tell him how I feel.

3. Something I haven't thought of before!

What would your advice be?

Do you think I should encourage him to date other girls?

(He never had a real desire to before he left on his mission, even though I kept telling him to, but I think it'd be good for him.)

Thanks so much!

Have a WONDERFUL day!

You rock!

- Future Sister

Dear Sister,

Hi!

Here's my opinion:

1. Have the interview

2. Submit your papers

3. Write him a letter telling him you've submitted your papers and you're excited to serve.

4. Realize that he's free to date anyone he wants to when he comes home (so long as she wants to date him, I suppose)

5. Work hard and be a positive and happy missionary!

6. When you come home, if he's single, date him. If he's not single, don't. If he wasn't smart enough to go on dates while you were gone, bad for him but maybe good for you! (And maybe not.)

Have a great day!

(And let Sister Jo and I know when and where you'll be serving, please!)

- Bro Jo

No comments:

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

She Was Waiting, but Now She's Leaving, So What Should She Tell "Her Missionary"?

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