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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Getting a Boy to Notice - Part 2

Dear Bro Jo,

There is a boy I like. I have had many encounters with him. But, I have never had the courage to talk to him. This is because I don't know what to say. He is really social. How can I start a conversation with him?

Sincerely,

JB

Dear JB,

Well . . . I don't know what you mean by "encounters", but I'm guessing that you mean that you and he have been in the same general area at the same time . . .

Learning to talk to each other is about as valuable a skill as you can get, and Sister Jo says that if a girl can learn how to talk to a boy (and by that she means "listen to him") then she can have any boyfriend she wants (for the most part).

And between you and me, it's not that you can't talk to boys, right? It's that you're struggling talking to THIS boy . . . because, you know . . . you think he's Dreamy.

You mention that he's social, so that makes for a good start. What you're looking for are some excuses for you to talk to him, rather than waiting for him to decide to talk to you; fair enough!

Here are

Bro Jo's THINGS GIRLS CAN SAY TO BOYS TO START A CONVERSATION
  1. Ask him stuff about what he does with his time. "How was your weekend?", "Have you seen the new ______ movie?", "Do you have big plans this weekend?" (be careful that one doesn't come out like you're pining for a date, at least not until you're old enough to date)
  2. Ask him about stuff you know he does: "How was the Basketball Game?", "How long have you been skating?"
  3. Talk to him about School and/or Church: "How do you like Mrs. Really Loud as a Teacher?", "Do you understand the New Math?", "Why is Bro Jo always picking on you in Sunday School?"
  4. Ask him for Help (a Sister Jo specialty): "Can you open this for me?", "Can you call me later and explain this new science project?", "Can you help me with this heavy box?"

Do you see the pattern? Most people liked to be asked stuff about themselves, especially boys. If you show interest in him, he'll be excited to talk to you. The stuff in number 4 above actually has the added benefit of also making him feel he's pretty dang awesome.

Now, you may be thinking "that's great and all, but what am I supposed to do, just waltz across the room and ask about his weekend?"

Hey, if you've got the courage for that, more power to you, but if not here are somethings you can do to put yourself in his general proximity so that you already be close enough to ask the questions.

Bro Jo's WAYS TO BE IN THE GENERAL PROXIMITY OF SOMEONE YOU WANT TO TALK TO

  1. Sit close. Not in his lap, but find a desk next to his in class. Easiest on the first day of a new class, but if there's no seating chart try just deciding to move. If he sarcastically asks "what are you doing over here" say "I thought I'd sit next to you" - that'll get his attention, and probably freak him out in a good way - we hope.
  2. Walk by and say "Hi". Easier than it sounds. You already know each other; be friendly.
  3. Go up and say hello to any mutual friend of yours he may be talking to, boy or girl. Use your friends to make new friends - perfectly acceptable social behavior.

Let me know what works for you, would ya?

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have tested out your 4 Ideas to start conversations with Boys, and they totally work! Because he knew that I was interested in him, he was able to open up easier. Thanks!