The Best Opening Line

Hey Bro Jo,

First of all I would like to thank you for all the help you are giving us all. I have read many of your posts and they are very helpful.

Intro: I am 15 years old, turning 16 this summer. My family and I recently (last summer) moved to Montreal, Quebec - Canada. This is the French part of Canada. I’ve been English educated my whole life and I’ve recently started learning French. As you may know, French girls are usually very attractive.

Anyways that was just a little brief.

My problem: I have a tendency of being very shy when it comes to confronting a girl I do not know. I’ve been having this problem ever since I moved here. I usually go out with like my classmates or my friends from school because they’re easier to get to know.

A couple of weeks ago, I was returning from a party and I was in a city bus returning to downtown Montreal (that’s where I live). At first, I was alone in the bus then 2 guys entered at one of the stops, one sat in the far end of the bus and the other sat a couple of rows in front of me. The seating layout is: 2 main columns facing the front of the bus (that’s where I was sitting) and the first row has a single seat facing the side of the bus (usually it’s a restricted seat of seniors, pregnant ladies or injured people but at night it doesn’t apply).

Then after 2 stops, we reached an area with a lot of clubs and a hot girl enters alone and sits in the single seat facing the side of the bus. I usually don’t like rating girls but she was like a 9 out of 10. She looks older than me but not by much; Blond hair and blue eyes.

So throughout the ride, I noticed her looking at me. She would turn to look at me many times. She would look at me in a way that she was checking me out. So I keep telling myself to go up to her and talk to her, but being a shy guy, I didn’t.

So I was a few stops away from my stop, so I got up and stood by the bus door (which is also in front of her) to get ready to go out and I noticed she was looking at me again. I really didn’t know what to do, or what to say. So I end up leaving, until this day, I regret it and I feel sooo bad!

I had a few similar encounters like this.

I worry that if she turns out being French and I won’t be able to talk to her and that would embarrass me in front of her and in front of the others around.

What are the best ways to go up to a girl and what are the best openers/intros. How can I end up switching numbers? Wow . . .I just realized that I really need some help!

I hope you can get back to me as soon as possible so i can overcome my problems.

Thanks in advance!


Anthony K.



Dear Anthony,

Wow, bro, that’s a lot of teen angst in just one letter!

Stop worrying about talking to someone and not being able to speak the language; consider it Missionary Practice. The problem is that you’re hanging WAY TOO MUCH importance on this one conversation. Montreal is approaching 2 Million people, if you blow it with one girl there are sure to be other opportunities.

That said, you need to cool your jets a little there, Casanova. Take a run; take a cold shower; take a break. If you were a 24-year old Return Missionary I might chide you for not dating more, but you just turned 16! - (or will soon) – you don’t have to hit on every girl you see.

Yes, it’s a good idea to develop those social skills, including introducing yourself to new people, and Yes, once you’re 16 you should start Casual-Group Dating, but worry less about befriending every “hot” girl in Quebec.

The best opening line, in ANY situation, at any age is “Hi, my name is . . . “

That’s it, bud. It’s no more complicated than that. You don’t have to come up with anything suave or dazzling or clever. Just introduce yourself.

For you it may be “Bonjour, je m’apelle Anthony”.

If that’s all the French you’ve got, then have a good laugh about your ignorance and see if the sweet little sister can teach you a few words and phrases.

At the very least, perhaps you’ll be motivated to learn the language.

I’ll give you one more, though I better not get complaint letters from every belle in Canada because of you.

“Quel est son numéro de téléphone?”

(and, by all means, by French Speaking friends, feel free to correct my vocabulary and grammar)

Oh, and Anthony, "De rien!".

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

You're right, I should relax a bit. Thanks for the advice.

BTW, where did you learn French from?

And i have one more question if you don't mind, how can I approach a girl if shes with a group of friends (group having boys and girls, or just girls)?


Dear Anthony,

Sister Jo took some French in High School and College, the rest is either self-taught or via the internet.

If you're interested in a girl who you spy socializing as part of a group you do know, then you go up and say "hi" and ask to be introduced.

If she's part of a group and you don't know anyone else in the group, but you're at a dance, you go up and ask her to dance.

If she's part of a group you don't know, and there's no "dance-like" excuse to cull her from the herd, then you either need to

a) catch her alone

b) go up to the group with several buddies and make it One Big Group, thus allowing you to meet her, then you can try to talk to just her

or c) come up with a great line that will get her to leave the group and come talk to you.

"C" is NOT a beginner's move; very difficult to do with out coming across like a jerk or obnoxious. It takes a lot of confidence, and a lot of practice (which means that you should expect it to NOT WORK . . . a lot!) You could be bold and walk right up to the entire group, ignoring them and looking only at her and say "excuse me, but I have an important message for you; can I speak to you privately for a moment" (which I HAVE pulled off), but, as I said, the potential for burning in flames is very high.

For now, I'd stick to A or B.

- Bro Jo