Kia Ora Bro Jo!
I'm a recent convert to the Church; in fact, I've been a member for just over 8months. I'm really enjoying it and have picked up a lot of things.
One of those is the "hype" to get married. Before I became a member, I had no desire to get married what so ever, mainly I think because I never understood it the way the Church does.
But now that I do, I find myself becoming attracted to the idea of being together for all time and eternity.
Just these last transfers, one our elders left the area. He had been here for 7 1/2 months. We really got to know each other and ended up becoming best friends.
Towards the end of his "stay", feelings began to become known, and we realized we both liked each other. In short, we both knew that this was not good and he should be focusing his time on the Lord and his work. We both tried to avoid each other (that was kinda hard because I'm a ward missionary) but it seemed every time we did, we got closer.
Nothing Happened.
The last time we communicated, before he left, he said that we would talk when he got home (I will be in the States before he does) and to wait. Now, I know this shouldn't have happened, and I've not contacted him since he left or vice versa, just so you know.
What I wanted to ask was if I should wait. I know people have waited a whole 2 years, and I'm only waiting less than a year, but it still seems a long time. I'm fairly new to the whole dating thing as we don't date the way you do in America. We really like each other, and think it could work. But, would it be, I dunno . . .
Going behind his back or something? He's already got one Dear John, and if something were to happen between me and someone else, I'd feel terrible for him.
Ah well, so yeah. That's my dilemma
From Flying Kiwi
Dear Kiwi,
(and Kia Ora Koutou to all my New Zealand friends!)
I’m so glad you’ve joined the LDS Church! And equally as glad that you’re embracing the Doctrine of Eternal Marriage!
My love for Sister Jo is strengthened by my testimony that she and I, if we’ll follow the commandments, can be together forever in the Celestial Kingdom. How great it will be to spend Time and All Eternity together with our Children.
(While we’re at it, Bro Jo expects to see all of you Readers there as well, you know)
I’m also glad that you and this Elder recognized your feelings and guarded against anything happening.
I don’t think you should wait. If a Good LDS Man asks to take you out, I think you should go. It would be wrong to miss mister right because you were holding out for mister maybe.
When he comes home, should this missionary choose to contact you, and should you be available (and willing) to date him, by all means go ahead.
You need to realize that you can’t send a “Dear John” letter to a guy that was never your Boyfriend to begin with. Perhaps he will be some day, but he isn’t now, and he wasn’t when he was serving in your area.
So don’t feel guilty. You have no reason to. He's a Non-John; not even a Boyfriend to let down.
(Kids, does everyone Now See why Bro Jo so adamantly warns against Relationships with Missionaries?)
I don’t know Maori for “God Bless”, but “God Bless You!”
- Bro Jo
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