Dear Bro Jo . . . : Asking Out Your Friend's Sibling

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Friday, January 22, 2010

Asking Out Your Friend's Sibling

Dear Bro Jo,

I don't know if this is a typical teen girl problem, but let me here it is.

To start let me explain that i have just turned 16 and can now date. Now here is my problem:

I was really good friends with a girl, lets call her Chelsea. Well, Chelsea and I have been really good friends for a while. Well, while I was friends with Chelsea i started to like her brother. Last summer she went to BYU for college and then i started hanging with her brother more.

Now that I am 16 and there is a dance coming up at my school i wish to ask Chelsea's brother to this dance. However, I don't want Chelsea to feel as though I have been using her to get to her brother. What can i do?

Also, this dance is a "Sadie Hawkins" dance and I am nervous to ask Chelsea's brother to the dance.

HELP!!

-Ohio Teen

Dear Ohio,

I think you should ask him whether she wants you to or not, but if you're worried about it and want to keep things smooth between the two of you, just talk to her. "Hey, Sadie Hawkins is coming up and I'm going to ask your brother. Any advice?"

If she's a true friend she'll be glad someone as nice as you is asking him and, if you ask for her help, she may go that extra step and help you know what to say and when.

It's a good sign that you're nervous, but don't let that keep you from trying!

And don't wait too long, either.

Lastly, even a school dance should follow the Casual Group Dating Rules (click HERE if you need to look them up again), so find a good group to go with.

Have fun!

- Bro Jo

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Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Friday, January 22, 2010

Asking Out Your Friend's Sibling

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