Friendly Temptation

Dear Bro Jo,

I have a bit of a problem. I have lived in Sweden for nearly 1 year now and I’ve noticed a lot of changes from where I used to live, Houston.

In Houston nearly everyone had grown up in a family that practices some religion so dating wasn't too bad. But when I moved here almost no one has gone to church in decades! On top of that the legal age is 15! I'm 16 and the girls are coming at me left and right. But I'm being righteous, but its sooo hard. The temptation is over whelming.

For example a friend of mine who has a boyfriend and has not grown up in the church, we flirt a lot. I haven’t done anything stupid yet but when I’m around her I feel like it will happen soon. And on top of that her boyfriend isn’t too happy about me being with her all the time.

So can you give me some tips on how to stay away from the temptation and to keep my friendship with my friend without destroying her relationship her boyfriend?

- (Name Withheld)


Dear (Name Withheld) -

I'd like to hear a little more about why you're in Sweden and what the Church is like there . . .

(You're not as alone as you may think: there are quite a few Latter-day Saints there, plus "Dear Bro Jo" has lots of Swede readers!)

As for your base question, you can't have it both ways. You can't be her "friend" without it affecting things, both your temptation level and things with her boyfriend. Sorry, pal, can't be done.

Listen to the Spirit (and the Boyfriend), my friend; as great as she may be, you need to be spending a lot less time with her, and you should Never be alone with her.

Never.

That's not to say that you can't be nice to her or be around her or even date her when you're old enough. You just need to be sure that all of those things also involve other people.

First of all, you need to get yourself a good Wing Man; a buddy that can help you stay out of trouble and who can become a good Dating Buddy later. If you can find more than one, even better.

It IS possible to have fun with girls and NOT get into trouble. Check out my Dating Rules - it's a great place to start!

Bro Jo's DATING RULES for TEENS

For more clarification on the whole "Men and Women Can't Be Friends" check out these links:

Letters to Bro Jo - Search - Friendship

Facebook Discussions - Men and Women Can't Be Friends

Hang in there!

- Bro Jo