Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Going Your Own Way

Dear Bro Jo,

I love your advice and your ideas are really intriguing, so I decided I should get your insight with my problem.

I'm going to BYU-H relatively soon and being the only child to make it to college my parents a little overzealous about it. My dad was in the army back in the day, so they've "encouraged" me to join as well.

I definitely see the benefit of joining the army, and it goes hand in hand with my major (political science), but I'm worried in amidst of training and school, I won't be able to devote time to looking for a husband.

And then when I finish with school, there's an obligation of four years to the army, which I totally understand as part of a contract. But I don't know where I'll be in four years.

I also want a stronger testimony, so I've wanted to go on a mission for several years, so I guess I'm wondering if you have any ideas about what I should do. I've prayed about It, but I feel like my personal thoughts may be blocking the Lord's answer.

I'm totally confused, and my parents are very one-sided about this decision. If you have an advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Lost and Confused.


Dear Lost,

Your parents know you well, and are inspired by their love for you to give you the best council they can. They mean well.

But you’re an adult now (or at least will be soon), and as such you need to make your own life-decisions. I think it would be foolish Not to Consider what your parents have to say; but ultimately the decision needs to rest with you.

With that, let me tell you four things.

1) Four years in the Army is going to fly by. In the grand scheme of our eternal existences, four years isn’t very long.

2) Cheap-to-Free Education is tough to pass up, be it scholarship or military funded.

3)  Serving One's Country is an Honorable Thing.

4) If a Mission is right for you, when you get to that point in life, Do It.

Nothing needs to be decided right away. Take your time to weigh out and consider all of your options. If you haven’t done so already, strongly consider getting a Patriarchal Blessing. If you have already received one, take it out and prayerfully read it again; you may gain some new insight.

Missions are wonderful things, but you can grow a stronger testimony every day. Do that stuff we learn in Primary!

• Daily Scripture Study
• Attend all of your Church Meetings
• Daily Prayer
• Live Gospel Principles

I’ve a firm believer that nothing grows a testimony of a Gospel Principle more than that of actually living it.


By the way, the converse is true as well.

Want to lose your testimony of Church Attendance?

Stop going.

Want to forget what it feels like to no longer hear the Promptings of the Spirit?

Stop listening.

Want to give up the blessings of Tithing?

Stop paying.

Want to cut off communication with Heavenly Father?

Stop praying.


It’s totally true. Look at the people around you who’ve stopped doing those things; they’ve lost their testimony. See it and realize that you don’t want to go there.


Back on topic.

I’m not suggesting you defy your parents, rather openly discuss with them your concerns. Ask them to give you a little time before you make any long-term commitments and, in the end, realize that those are your decisions to make.

Make them Prayerfully.

- Bro Jo

No comments: