Dear Bro Jo,
Hey, while I am thinking about it I have another quick question for you about dating.
Mostly about dances.
I was just wondering if you think that pictures for dances are necessary because I know for me that they cost pretty much the most of anything that I buy on dances and I don't really ever use them or anything. But then it is always really embarrassing to say to your date that we aren't going to get pictures because it almost seems like that is a required thing at the dances at my school. And the fact that the pictures cost so much has kept me from going to some dances because I simply don't have the money.
And another thing is it absolutely necessary to wear a tux to prom?
Thanks!
- Johnny Cash
Dear Cash,
One thing guys need to realize is that, even with the flowers, food, tux, pictures, and tickets your cost is typically lower than the dress, hair, shoes, etc. that your date has to pay for.
I do think kids spend too much money on formal dances, and that you can have a good time without blowing the mission fund.
If we're talking about those rare, school-event dances (like Prom, Winter Formal, Homecoming) I do think you need to have pictures taken, but I don't think that means you have to have the "official" pictures from the photographer at the event (I agree: those can be phenomenally over-priced.) With everyone owning a digital camera, mom and dad can take as good (or better) pictures.
And there are other things you can do.
One year a bunch of kids paid Sister Jo $20 per couple to cater a 5-course dinner in our home before Homecoming (granted she's an amazing chef, but you get the idea) - the cost covered the ingredients and she loved doing it.
You can buy a bouquet of roses cheaper than a corsage.
You can borrow a nice car instead of renting the limo (a guy in Sister Jo's ward used to let the priest with the most service hours for the year borrow his corvette).
I do think you need to wear a tux to Prom; it's that formal. Arrange to rent early, and keep it simple, and you'll save a bunch.
As far as the embarrassment factor goes, that's your fault for not communicating to your date upfront. When you ask her to go, you need to layout the plan.
This is who we're going with.
This is what we're doing for dinner.
Bubba's folks are going to take the pictures at his house.
Seriously, TP, girls just really want to go; I don't think a decent girl is going to give you grief about saving some money so long as she's not surprised.
Be frugal, but not cheap.
- Bro Jo
Dear Bro Jo,
OK, thanks for that advice. I know I definitely need to work on the communication thing before dances.
Thanks for everything.
- JC
Dating, Relationship and Other Advice for LDS Teens, Young Single Adults, and anyone else who could use a little help (since 2009) from someone who cares enough to give it to you straight.
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This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)
Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.
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2 comments:
If boys would give me a few prints, I would have loved creative pictures from someone's house, but what happens is someone's parents takes pictures and then you never get to see them again. Just tell her you'll get the prints to her sometime the week after and you'll get bonus points for a good follow-up.
From a girl's perspective.. you HAVE to have pictures. Really.. A girl is gonna spend hours getting ready and you're not even going to take pictures? :(
I agree though on the price of the pictures..
For Sadies, I was lucky enough to have teacher that was into photography as a hobby. I asked if she would be willing to take the pictures for us and she agreed. We all chipped in a couple bucks and the pictures ended up being a LOT better than the ones we would have had at the dance. I went with a group from my ward, and our YW leader even offered to let us use her family's property for the setting.
She told us she was going to do it for free, but we all chipped in for a thank you card and each stuck in some money. A couple bucks for pictures isn't much... and I'm SURE that there's someone in your stake that just enjoys taking pictures.. All you have to do is ask around!
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