Dear Bro Jo . . . : The One

Things to know

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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The One

Dear Bro Jo,

I was at a YSA activity around 2 months ago, and at the end when everyone was leaving, my friend and I were approached by a guy that she knew from a different ward. I don't know why but as soon as he spoke I got this feeling, as if I 'just knew'. Anyway, later that night he found me on Facebook, and ever since then we've spoken on the phone every night. Last Saturday we went on a date, and I can say it was honestly the most romantic thing I have ever done, it was seriously perfect.

We stayed out until 5 in the morning looking at the stars (really cute but not good when you have church 4 hours later!) I have dated/been around quite a few guys and I can honestly say I never feel as comfortable as I did with this guy. It was if we had known each other forever. Now I can't stop thinking about him, and I feel as if he could quite possibly be 'the one.' I've never really believed that there is only one person that can be 'the one' , but now I'm starting to wonder. Do you believe in 'the one'? Do you think this guy could possibly be 'the one', or do you think I'm just having a major crush on him?

Thank you!!

- Destiny

Dear Destiny,

No, I don't believe in "the one"; it implies that a person must search the world endlessly or waiting for that perfect person, that perfect match, which, let's face it, as much as you're "in love" now, doesn't exist.

However I ABSOLUTELY believe in Love and Promptings of the Spirit! How lucky you are to have had such a wonderful evening!

Maybe you two will make each other great spouses, maybe not. For now I say "enjoy the moment" (you ARE writing all of this in a journal, right?), go on a few more dates, and see how things unfold.

For what it's worth, I still have a crush on Sister Jo.

Keep us all posted on what happens!

- Bro Jo

6 comments:

Anonymous said...: I know you've said that there is no such thing as "THE ONE" person whom we're destined to be but what are traits that can help you tell who is good marrying type guys and girls and who aren't?; March 25, 2010 at 11:52 PM
Bro Jo said...: Well that's a Great Question!

I've written a separate column answering it that will publish here in May - "Bro Jo's LIST of THINGS to LOOK for in a SPOUSE" - don't miss it!

- Bro Jo; March 28, 2010 at 7:17 PM
Mel said...: Is this list mentioned above the same as the list of things you should know before you get engaged?; August 19, 2012 at 10:39 PM
Bro Jo said...: I don't think it was.

But I didn't find it in the posts from May of that year . . . might need to check April or June . . . sometimes stuff shifts.

Let me know if you find it, would ya?

- Bro Jo; August 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Mel said...: Hmmm... I couldn't seem to find it in April or June of that year either; August 19, 2012 at 11:02 PM
Bro Jo said...: You're absolutely right!

I just searched the archives, and it looks like it never got published.

I'll run it this Friday.

Thank you!

- Bro Jo; August 20, 2012 at 6:23 AM

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The One

6 comments:

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