Dear Bro Jo,
My parents seem genuinely worried that I DON'T have a boyfriend. Every time I get home from a date, they ask "Well are you going to date him?" or "Did you kiss him?" It's really frustrating that they automatically assume that EVERY guy I go on a date with is my "boyfriend". They (mainly my dad) can't seem to wrap their heads around the idea of casual group dating. (Possibly because they never did any casual group dating of their own in high school... They were dating each other.) And they're shocked that I don't do more kissing!
Now that I'm 18, it's getting worse. My parents pretty much bring up marriage every single day. They were married fresh out of high school, so why shouldn't I be? Honestly, I am sooo not ready for eternal commitment! I'm still in High School! It seems like everyone is pushing me towards single dating! Even my bishop suggested that I try out singles ward.
I guess I'm at that iffy in-between stage.. and I can't decide which side of the line to be on! I'm older than everyone in high school, (late birthday) so I'm the same age as all of my friends that are ready to hop into the YSA world.. and everyone's waiting for me to join them!
So I guess my question is... Should I try out singles ward and open the door for the opportunity for "real" dating, or should I stick with what I'm comfortable with 'til after graduation?
I've heard it both ways! So what do you think?
- (Unsigned)
Dear Unsigned,
It's not my place to disagree with parents, but I'm not going to tell an 18-year old girl that she should have a boyfriend and do more kissing, either. And I'm not going to tell someone your age that she should run out and get married or do dating stuff that makes her feel uncomfortable.
Besides, as far as your parents wanting to talk to you about you dates and inquire about your physical activities, I'm not sure they mean to pressure you. When you love someone it's natural to want them to be happy, and we tend to think that what makes (or has made) us happy will make them happy, too. Add to that a parent's desire to be a part of their children's lives, and you should expect (and be grateful for) your parents asking you about your love life.
Keep Casual Group Dating. Don't rush to the Singles Ward. The time for that and Serious Single Dating will come soon enough.
- Bro Jo
1 comment:
I was totally at that in between stage too! It honestly was really hard. I felt too old to be in young women's, but I didn't want to go to RS with my mom either. I ended up going to a local student ward, even though I was nervous. I took one of my best friends with me every week, and it turned out to be a great experience. I met a lot of new friends. In spite of what I thought, not every guy was looking to marry me. In fact I didn't go out a single time, but I did make new friends. So I say, go to a singles ward and try it out. Good luck!
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